I want to start by saying something that I wish someone had said to more of the families I’ve worked with over the years. You are not overreacting.
When you notice something is a little off with your mom or dad, and you can’t quite name it, but it just doesn’t feel right that instinct matters. I’ve worked alongside families who apologized to me for calling. We didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing, they’d say. And sometimes it was nothing. But sometimes it wasn’t. And the ones who waited the longest were usually the ones who had that early feeling and talked themselves out of it. So if you’re reading this because something is nagging at you, good. Keep reading.
This article isn’t going to scare you. I’m not here to send you into a panic. What I want to do is sit with you for a few minutes and walk you through what I’ve seen over the years. What looks like nothing. What sometimes turns out to be something. And what signs your brain is in trouble actually look like in real life, outside of a medical textbook. Because brain health doesn’t always announce itself with a dramatic event. More often, it starts quietly.
Why Families Miss the Early Signs
Here’s what I’ve noticed after years of walking into people’s homes and sitting with their families at kitchen tables.
Most of the time, families don’t miss these signs because they aren’t paying attention. They miss them because they love their person. And when you love someone, your mind finds reasonable explanations. Dad’s always been a little scattered. Mom has been under stress. He didn’t sleep well last night. She’s just getting older.
And sometimes that’s true. Normal aging is real. Not every forgotten word is dementia. Not every headache is a brain tumor. I want to be clear about that, because the goal here isn’t to make you frightened of every small thing.
But there’s a difference between normal aging and the signs your brain is in trouble in a way that needs attention. Learning that difference is one of the most useful things a caregiver can do.
Let me walk you through five of those signs.
Sudden Memory Changes That Disrupt Daily Life
Memory is a complicated thing. Everyone forgets stuff. I forget where I put my keys. You probably do too. That’s not what I’m talking about here.
What concerns me, and what should concern you, is when memory loss starts interrupting daily life in ways that didn’t used to happen.
What Normal Forgetfulness Usually Looks Like
Forgetting someone’s name and remembering it later. Walking into a room and forgetting why, then remembering after a moment. Missing an appointment once. Struggling to recall a word during conversation but finding it after a beat.
These things happen. They happen to people in their forties. They’re not, on their own, warning signs of brain problems.
What’s Different About Serious Memory Changes
What I’ve seen that’s different is when the forgetting doesn’t come back. When someone asks the same question four times in one conversation and genuinely doesn’t remember asking it. When a person can’t recall an event that happened yesterday, or even this morning, not because they weren’t paying attention, but because it didn’t seem to stick at all.
I’ve seen families miss this early sign because it would happen and then seem to pass. She was fine by afternoon. But if it keeps happening, and especially if it’s getting more frequent, that’s worth paying attention to.
Other things I look for when it comes to brain health concerns in elderly adults:
Getting lost in familiar places. I worked with a gentleman once who had driven to the same grocery store for thirty years. His daughter called me because he got turned around coming home. That’s not a bad day. That’s something to talk to a doctor about.
Trouble managing finances or bills that the person used to handle easily. Not because they forgot to pay one bill. But because the process itself, writing the check, understanding the statement, keeping track, started falling apart.
Losing things and being unable to retrace steps. And sometimes, blaming others for moving or taking things.
Sometimes it starts very small. A missed appointment here. A repeated question there. But the pattern, that’s what tells the story.
Confusion, Disorientation, or Personality Changes
This one is harder for families to name. Because it doesn’t always look like confusion. Sometimes it just looks like someone acting differently.
I’ve had family members describe it to me as: She just hasn’t seemed like herself. He’s been more irritable lately. She got upset over something she would never have cared about before.
Those descriptions matter more than people realize.
When Confusion Shows Up
Confusion can look like not knowing what day it is, even after being reminded. It can look like not recognizing where they are, even at home. I’ve sat with families in Illinois who couldn’t understand why their parents kept asking to go home while sitting in the house they’d lived in for forty years.
That’s disorientation. And it’s a sign a senior needs neurological care.
It can also look like confusion about time. Thinking it’s morning when it’s evening. Getting up in the middle of the night thinking it’s time to start the day. Sometimes people describe their parents as sundowning, which is a real pattern where confusion gets worse in the late afternoon or evening.
Personality and Behavior Changes
This is the one that catches families off guard. Because it doesn’t feel like a brain problem. It feels like a relationship problem. Or a mood problem.
But sudden changes in personality, especially in older adults, can absolutely be signs your brain is in trouble. A normally calm person who becomes angry or suspicious. A social, outgoing person who suddenly withdraws and becomes flat. Someone who starts laughing or crying at things that don’t warrant that kind of response.
I’ve worked with families who spent months trying to figure out what happened to their mother or father emotionally before anyone brought up the possibility that a neurological change might be behind it.
Sometimes it’s depression, which is its own serious thing. Sometimes it’s medication. Sometimes it’s the beginning of dementia. Sometimes it’s something else entirely. But any significant shift in who your person is should be on a doctor’s radar.
I tell families: you know your person better than any medical chart does. If something feels different, that’s worth saying out loud to someone who can help figure out why.
Trouble Speaking, Walking, or Coordinating Movement
This one is the one where I tell families to call the doctor, and sometimes, to call 911.
Not because I want to scare you. But because certain symptoms in this category are time sensitive in a way that others are not.
Stroke Warning Signs Are Real
You may have heard of the acronym FAST. Face drooping. Arm weakness. Speech difficulty. Time to call 911.
That’s real. And it matters. But I want to add something to that, because in my experience, strokes don’t always look like the textbook picture.
Sometimes a stroke looks like sudden, strange confusion. Someone who was mid sentence and then just wasn’t making sense anymore. Sometimes it’s a sudden severe headache described as the worst they’ve ever had. Sometimes its vision changes. Sometimes it’s a sudden weakness on one side of the body.
If any of these come on suddenly, don’t wait to see if it passes. Call for help.
Slower Changes in Movement and Coordination
But there are also slower changes that families watch develop over time and aren’t sure what to make of.
A shuffle in the walk that wasn’t there before. A tremor in the hand. Trouble with balance. Dropping things. Difficulty with tasks that used to be automatic, like buttoning a shirt or using utensils.
These can be signs of Parkinson’s disease, other neurological conditions, or medication effects. They’re not always emergencies. But they’re not things to wait on for months either.
I’ve worked with families who explained away a parent’s walking changes for a long time. She’s just getting stiff. And sometimes that’s true. But when the change is noticeable and progressing, that’s the kind of thing worth bringing up at the next appointment. Better yet, call before the next appointment and ask if it warrants being seen sooner.
Speech Changes
Slurred speech that comes on suddenly: call for emergency help.
But also watch for slower changes. Difficulty finding words more often than before. Sentences that don’t quite finish. A person who was always talkative becoming quieter not because they’re sad, but because putting words together has become harder.
These can be early signs of cognitive decline, stroke aftermath, or other neurological changes. Worth noting. Worth mentioning.
Severe or Persistent Headaches
Most headaches are not a sign that something is wrong with the brain. I want to be honest about that. Most of us get headaches. Dehydration, tension, stress, allergies, all of those can cause a headache.
But there are headache patterns that do concern me.
The Thunderclap Headache
This is one I take very seriously. A headache that comes on suddenly and severely, described as the worst headache of a person’s life, can be a sign of something serious happening inside the brain, like a bleeding vessel.
If someone describes a headache that way, that’s not a take some ibuprofen and lie down situation. That’s an emergency room situation.
Headaches That Change Over Time
The other pattern I watch for is when a person who didn’t used to get headaches starts getting them regularly. Or when a person who always got headaches describes a change in what they feel like.
New headache patterns in older adults, especially combined with any other symptoms like confusion, vision changes, or weakness, are worth a conversation with a doctor. It may not seem urgent at first. But in combination with other signs your brain is in trouble, a persistent headache is part of the picture.
Don’t Forget Medication
One thing I’ve learned to always ask families about: what medications is your person taking? Some medications cause headaches. Some cause interactions that cause headaches. Especially if a new headache started around the time a new medication was introduced, that’s worth flagging.
Withdrawal, Mood Changes, or Loss of Interest
This one gets missed more than almost any other. Because it’s quiet. And because we have so many explanations for it.
She’s tired. He’s been through a lot. She’s grieving. He’s just getting older and slowing down.
And sometimes that’s what it is. Grief is real. Fatigue is real. But when a person loses interest in things they used to love, and it stays that way, that’s something to pay attention to.
What This Can Look Like
A person who loved gardening and just stopped going outside. A man who watched every game and now doesn’t turn the television on. Someone who used to call their grandkids regularly who no longer initiates contact.
Not a bad week. Not a rough patch. A sustained withdrawal from the things and people that used to matter.
This can be depression, which is common in older adults and often undertreated. It can also be an early sign of dementia, where the brain’s ability to feel pleasure, motivation, or interest begins to change. It can be a response to a neurological condition that’s affecting mood regulation.
When the Person Can’t Explain It
What I’ve found is that sometimes when you ask someone who’s withdrawn, Are you okay? Do you feel sad? they say no. They don’t feel sad. They just don’t feel much of anything. Or they feel agitated. Or they feel fine but can’t explain why they stopped doing everything they used to do.
That disconnect between how they describe themselves and how they’re actually living is worth taking seriously.
I’ve seen families chalk this up to personality. She was always a little like that. But when the change is noticeable compared to before, that’s the key. It’s the change that matters.
When to Seek Medical Attention
I want to be clear about a few different levels here.
Call 911 immediately if you see:
Sudden facial drooping, arm weakness, or speech that doesn’t make sense. The worst headache the person has ever had is coming on suddenly. Sudden severe confusion or loss of consciousness. Seizures. Sudden vision loss or double vision.
These are not wait and see situations.
Call the doctor within a day or two for:
Any new or worsening memory concerns. Behavioral or personality changes that are noticeable. New walking difficulties or coordination issues. Persistent headaches without a clear cause. Withdrawal or mood changes that have lasted more than a couple of weeks.
Bring it up at the next appointment if:
You’ve noticed small changes that aren’t urgent but feel worth tracking. You want to document a baseline. You want to ask whether a certain symptom is normal for your parent’s age or condition.
And here’s what I tell every family: write it down before you go in. Because in the doctor’s office, things get forgotten. If you noticed your dad got confused on three different mornings this week, write it down. If your mom asked the same question six times, write it down. That record matters more than you think.
Supporting Someone After Symptoms Appear
Once you’ve noticed something and gotten a medical evaluation started, the next question families usually ask me is: what do we do at home?
That answer depends on what the diagnosis is, what stage things are at, and what the person needs day to day. But there are some general things that help.
Routine matters enormously. For someone whose brain is struggling, a predictable schedule reduces confusion and anxiety. Same wake time, same meals, same order to the day. It sounds small. It isn’t small.
Safety checks around the house. Are there fall risks? Loose rugs, poor lighting, clutter on the stairs? Is the stove safe for someone who might forget they left something on? These are things a good home assessment can catch.
Social connection. Isolation makes brain health worse. Full stop. Even if your person doesn’t seem to want visitors, human contact, even short visits, even phone calls, matters.
Caring for someone with brain problems means paying attention to things that can seem routine. Medications taken on time. Meals that are nutritious and eaten. Sleep is sufficient. These building blocks make a real difference in how someone functions day to day.
Daily living assistance for seniors who are dealing with cognitive or neurological changes doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Sometimes it helps with meals. Sometimes it helps with medications. Sometimes it’s a few hours of company and oversight while a family caregiver gets a break. Personalized home care services can be built around what a person actually needs, not a one size fits all model.
The Role of Home Health Care
For families navigating brain health concerns, home health care can be one of the most valuable resources available.
Home health care for neurological conditions usually involves a team. A nurse who monitors symptoms, checks vitals, and communicates with the physician. A home health aide who helps with personal care and daily tasks. Sometimes a physical or occupational therapist who works on strength, balance, or function.
What good home health care does is keep the family informed and keep the senior safer without removing them from the place they know. That familiarity matters for someone whose brain is changing. New environments can increase confusion. Home is anchoring.
Home health care in Illinois operates under both medical and state guidelines, and services are typically ordered by a physician after an assessment. If a doctor has identified a neurological condition or concern, asking about home health services at that appointment is completely appropriate.
A Note About Local Care Options
For families in the southwest suburbs of Illinois, finding consistent, reliable support close to home matters practically. Transportation, response time, care familiarity with the community, these things affect how well support actually works day to day.
Home health care services in Lemont and the surrounding areas cover a range of needs, from skilled nursing visits to dementia home care in Lemont, IL for families managing memory loss and behavioral changes at home.
Whether someone needs elderly home care in Lemont, IL for general daily support, or more specific senior home care in Lemont, IL for a parent managing a neurological condition, the right fit is one where the agency understands the whole picture, medical needs, family dynamics, and what the person’s daily life actually looks like.
A Word About Insurance
This is one of the most common questions families ask, and I always appreciate that they ask it, because figuring out payment shouldn’t happen in a crisis.
In home health care, insurance coverage varies. Medicare typically covers skilled home health services, meaning nursing and therapy, when a person is homebound and the services are medically necessary and ordered by a physician. This does not usually cover ongoing custodial care like help with bathing and dressing unless it’s part of a skilled visit.
Medicaid may cover more, depending on the state and the program. Long term care insurance, if your parents have it, often covers home care services as well.
It’s worth calling the insurance provider directly and asking specifically what home health benefits are included. Most agencies can also help families navigate this, as it’s a conversation they have regularly.
About Valentine Home Health Care
Families in the Lemont area and surrounding Illinois communities who are beginning to notice neurological or cognitive changes in a loved one often find themselves unsure about what kind of support is available at home. Valentine Home Health Care provides structured, consistent home based support for seniors, including those dealing with memory concerns, mobility changes, and other brain health related conditions, allowing them to remain in a familiar environment with appropriate oversight and daily assistance.
Common Questions Families Ask Me
Is this just normal aging, or is something wrong?
That’s the question I get most often, and it’s the right one to ask. Normal aging includes some slowing down, some occasional forgetfulness, some changes in energy. What it doesn’t include is rapid change, repeated disorientation, personality shifts, or symptoms that interfere with daily functioning. When in doubt, document what you’re seeing and bring it to a doctor. It’s always okay to ask.
When should we call 911 instead of waiting?
Sudden onset. That’s the key word. If something comes on suddenly, especially speech changes, facial drooping, arm weakness, severe headache, or loss of consciousness, don’t wait. Call 911. Minutes matter in some of these situations.
Can brain problems get better?
Some can, yes. If the cause is treatable, like a medication side effect, a vitamin deficiency, a thyroid issue, or a urinary tract infection (which can cause sudden confusion in older adults), then treating the cause can improve or resolve the symptoms. Some neurological conditions like certain types of stroke can improve with rehabilitation. Others, like Alzheimer’s, are progressive. But even in progressive conditions, good care, good routine, and appropriate support can meaningfully improve quality of life.
How do we keep them safe at home?
Start with a safety walk through of the house. Remove fall risks. Add grab bars and good lighting. If there are stove or appliance concerns, look into safety devices. If the person is wandering at night, talk to the doctor and consider door alarms or other solutions. A home health nurse or occupational therapist can do a formal home safety assessment and give you specific recommendations.
What if my parents won’t talk to the doctor about what’s happening?
This is so common. Many older adults minimize symptoms, either because they’re scared of what it might mean, or because they genuinely don’t realize how much has changed. You can send the doctor a note before the appointment describing what you’ve observed. You can ask to speak with the nurse briefly before the visit. You don’t have to wait for your parents to bring it up. Your observations are valid and useful medical information.
Is it my fault if I missed the signs early?
No. Please hear that clearly. No. These signs are easy to miss, especially when they come on gradually and especially when we love the person and want everything to be fine. The families I’ve worked with who feel guilty about missing early signs are the same families who were clearly paying close attention and doing their best. If you’re reading this article, you’re already doing something right.
What if we can’t afford home health care?
Start by checking insurance coverage carefully, including Medicare, Medicaid, and any supplemental plans. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging, which is a free resource in every state and can connect you with local programs and assistance options. Some nonprofit organizations and faith communities also offer support for caregiving families. Don’t assume it’s out of reach before exploring the options.
A Closing Word
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably not just casually curious. You’re probably someone who is genuinely worried about a person you love. And I want to leave you with this. You are not powerless. And you are not alone in this.
Noticing the signs your brain is in trouble, whether it’s your own or your parent’s, is not something to fear. It’s something to act on, quietly and steadily, the same way good caregivers have always done. Not with panic. With presence.
The families I’ve seen get through the hardest parts of this were not the ones who had all the answers. They were the ones who kept showing up. Who wrote things down. Who made the appointment even when they weren’t sure it was worth it. Who sat with their parents through the scary days and the confused nights and the repetitive questions and found ways to still be there, fully, without losing themselves in the process.
That’s what this work is. It’s not clinical. It’s not a checklist. It’s showing up for someone whose brain is asking for help, even when they don’t have the words for it. You can do that. You’re already doing it. Read more
